Cat Jokes

Cat Joke 1
Brother: Did you put the cat out ? Sister: Why, is it on fire ?

Cat Joke 2
A woman is walking in the park when she sees a man playing chess with his cat. She says to the man “I can’t believe what I m seeing, a cat that plays chess, what a clever animal!!” The man replied “Nah lady this cats not clever at all I m beating it 6 games to 1″

Cat Joke 3
Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “Whatcha doing, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. “And I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your cat.”

Cat Joke 4
Q: When is a bad time to cross a black cat? A: When you are a mouse!

Cat Joke 5
Q: Where did the kittens go on their class trip? – A: To a mewseum.

Cat Joke 6
Q: What do you call the loser in a hissing, scratching cat fight? – A: Claude

Cat Joke 7
Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day? – A: Mice cream

Cat Joke 8
Q: What do you call it when a cat bites? – A: Catnip!

Cat Joke 9
Q: What did the female cat say to the male cat? – A: You re the purrfect cat for me!

Cat Joke 10
Q: Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise? – A: It’s meow-sic to their ears!

Cat Joke 11
Q: What’s every cat’s favorite song? – A: Three Blind Mice!

Cat Joke 12
Q: Where do cats write down notes? – A: Scratch Paper!

Cat Joke 13
Q: Why does everyone love cats? – A: They re purr-fect!

Cat Joke 14
Q: What do you call a cat who eats lemons? – A: A sourpuss!

Cat Joke 15
Q: What do you call a cat Who’s joined the Red Cross? – A: A first-aid kit!

Cat Humor: Cat Jokes

Silly Cat Jokes
    
   Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.
How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
How do cats eat spaghetti? The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!
How do cats end a fight? They hiss and make up.
How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling? She's got that down in the mouth look!
How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures? They never cry over spilt milk!
How do you know when your cat has been using your computer? When your mouse has teeth marks on it!
How do you spell cat backwards? C-A-T-B-A-C-K-W-A-R-D-S!
How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters? C-A-T!
How do you stop a ten-pound parrot from talking too much? Buy a twenty-pound cat!
How does a cat count? One, mew, three!
How does a cat sing scales? Do-ri-me-ow!
How does the cat get its own way? With friendly purrsuasion.
How is a cat laying down like a coin? Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other!
How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
How many cats can you put into an empty box? Only one. After that, the box isn't empty.
If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can't it jump through a three foot window? Because the window is closed.
If a cat is a flabby tabby, then what is a very small cat? An itty bitty kitty.

Funny Cat Jokes

Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.

What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? A peeping tom.

Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

What is a cat's favourite song? Three Blind Mice.

What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice? Don't you have a cat?

What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.

How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.

Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? For kitty littering.

Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists? Because they finally opened their eyes.

Why are cats better than babies? Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.

What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat? Hiss and Tell.